"Beep! Beep! Beep!" My hand fired in the direction of the alarm clock in hopes of a direct hit on the "snooze" button, but I finally settled for the more direct approach of seizing the cord and yanking it from the outlet. I couldn't afford to sleep late anyways.
By day I was an exhausted, overworked 18-year-old, who took six courses in college and worked 45 hours a week as a sauce-and-fry cook in the local Mexican restaurant. And, by night, I was ... usually the same thing, with regular nightmares about my life during the day.
The Oxford English Dictionary defines a "utopia" as a place or state in which everything is perfect. During my junior year of high school my friends and I spent a great deal of time discussing whether utopia was in fact imaginary or, on the contrary, attainable.
While my mom remained a devoted Catholic, I watched my family one by one venture onto diverging spiritual journeys. My sister turned to psychology as her solution to the stresses of this world, and my brother sought spiritual enlightenment through Buddhist monks and the martial art of kung fu.
One day I was in the school library when someone handed me something. "I am looking for people who want to escape the rat race forever." I stared at the words "rat race."
I had no trouble envisioning myself in an oversized labyrinth designed to force small helpless creatures to compete against one another. Add a little fur and a tail and there I was--a full-fledged competitor in the international Olympic rat races. Looking down at the card, I spotted a 1-800 number at the bottom in bold lettering.
My fingers fumbled over the buttons as I dialed the number on the card. "Hi, this is Jeremy Rose. ... Please leave your name and number after the beep. Thanks!" ... Beep!
Jeremy and I met the next day, and he laid out a multilevel marketing scheme for Excel Telecommunications, which seemed too good to be true. I was initially skeptical of the whole plan, but he continued to persuade me. "What do you really want, Joe? Don't you want to be able to do anything, go anywhere, and have anything your heart could desire? Well, this plan can make that dream a reality. So are you in or are you out?" Jeremy asked.
I looked at the files on the table and tried to calculate the numbers in my head, but somewhere deep inside of me I knew this meant more than money. I then looked at Jeremy, a tall, blond, 24-year-old chick magnet and realized he was who I wanted to be.
Pausing for just one more moment of thought, I took a deep breath and replied, "I'm in!"
One month later I attended a seminar given by the self-made millionaire and executive director of Excel. A feeling of superiority overwhelmed me, and over the next couple of months, I became increasingly arrogant. Quotes like "If you want it, then get it" inspired me to chase that elusive green dollar a little harder. However, the more I pursued it, the further it ran away. Gradually I fell into a pit of despair, finding no relief in the pursuit of money.
One day, my friend and I spotted a young man in his early twenties pushing his motorbike along the side of the road. We thought about recruiting him into our business, so we pulled over and offered him a ride. Grateful, he put his motorbike in the back of my truck and jumped in next to it. When we arrived at his house, we explained our company's business plan to him, but he proceeded to pull out his photo album and show us pictures of a missionary group called the Family International. The young missionary, named Peter, asked me if I wanted to go out for a cup of coffee later that evening. I figured, Well, I've got nothing better to do, so why not?
I picked Peter up at seven o'clock and we went to the nearest Starbucks. While we were talking about the day's happenings, Peter fished a Treasures book from his bag. As he flipped through the pages, I caught sight of one of the titles: "The American Dream Is a Nightmare." Those were the truest words I had seen in all my life.
That evening I told him about all my troubles with my family, my work, and my school. He just said, "Here, read this book with me, and it will help you to understand the reality of the world."
Every word I read was like a drop of cold water onto the tongue of a beggar who hadn't drunk for days. After a couple of hours, I took Peter home. He was just about to get out of the car when he stopped and said, "I want to ask you a question."
"What's that?"
"Do you want to go to Heaven?"
"Yes!" I quickly replied.
"Do you know if you're going?"
Now I had thought I was going to Heaven for sure a couple of times in the past. Either I did some saintly act such as forsaking my fudge bar to my brother, or working up enough courage to confess all my sins to the priest in the confessional. However, I was pretty sure my heavenly citizenship had been revoked during the past year, which I'd spent in hot pursuit of the dollar. After some time I answered, "I don't think so."
"Well, you can know for sure," he said matter-of-factly.
"How?"
"Just ask Jesus into your heart."
That sounded like one of those trick answers to a trick question. I gave Peter a look of disbelief. He answered my look by saying, "Come on! It's not religion or 'the American way.' It's just Jesus!"
"'Just Jesus'? All right!"
Now officially a member of the Heavenly Kingdom, I knew I couldn't live in two worlds at the same time. I was tired. The world had taken me, chewed me up, spit me out, and left me to die. I couldn't take it anymore, and I decided to leave one world to step into another. I joined the Family!
I've been a member of the Family International for over five years and I can truly say that there is no greater place to be.
In my travels from the West (America) to the Far East (Vietnam) to the South (South Africa) and then to the Middle East, I have discovered no utopia on this earth. Yet the second I close my eyes and fall into Jesus' arms, I enter a perfect place. I can only try to repay Him by giving my life to lead others to this place.
