My mum passed away late last year, after suffering from a debilitating neurological disorder called Huntington's disease. We traveled a nine-year journey with her as we watched her body and mind slowly deteriorate. With that came every kind of emotion and question. "Why her?" I asked as an angry sixteen-year-old. "Why us?" It was difficult and at times embarrassing, especially after the sickness took its toll and it became impossible for her to control her bodily movements. At other times it was frustration that we felt. The job of caring for her often seemed overwhelming, and we were at a loss as to what we could do when Mum would be overly emotional or depressed, which are common side effects of Huntington's.
Bringing Out the Best
God allows us to go through a few hard things to bring out the sweetness in us. Like a giant hand squeezing a honeycomb, God puts the squeeze on us and out comes the honey. Like a beautiful flower that is pressed and crushed, God applies the pressure and out comes the perfume. Some of the most precious lessons in life come out of deep dark experiences.
--David Brandt Berg
For the most part, though, Mum remained positive, appreciative, hopeful, and full of faith, and she did her best to encourage us to do the same. Many of us were deeply touched by the grace she displayed in the face of such difficulty and suffering.
I learned a lot and know that I am better for having gone through this with her. For example, I had never been able to relate to people who had lost a loved one--a grandparent, mother, father, sibling, or close friend--but now I understand what that's like. I was always very close to my mum, so I feel as though I have lost one of my best friends, as well as my mum. It was difficult to accept at first, but I know now that it was part of God's plan--a plan that He explained to me in a dream.
In that dream He said, "I bring tears into your life to water the soil of your heart. Otherwise, the goodness would be lost. These tears enrich your life and allow beauty to spring forth in My good time." He showed me that if we didn't have difficult times, our hearts would be like a dry, dusty desert where the sand is swept whichever way the wind happens to blow. Even the best topsoil must stay moist in order to bring forth the beauty of new life. God, our heavenly gardener, has a plan for each of our lives. Although He lets us go through difficult times, He never expects us to go through them alone and they are never without a purpose and a plan. He brings each season of "rain" to water the garden of our hearts.
